At the pub..

[Andrew S.]

A sexy woman went up to the bar in a quiet rural pub . . .

She gestured alluringly to the bartender who approached her immediately.

She seductively signaled that he should bring his face closer to hers.

As he did, she gently caressed his full beard.

"Are you the manager?" she asked, softly stroking his face with both hands.

"Actually, no," he replied.

"Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him," she said, running her hands beyond his beard and into his hair.

"I'm afraid I can't," breathed the bartender. "Is there anything I can do?"

"Yes. I need for you to give him a message," she continued, running her forefinger across the bartender's lips and slyly popping a couple of her fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently.

"What should I tell him?" the bartender managed to say.
That there are no paper towels, hand soap or disinfectant in the ladies room!

 

[bitchy lil brunette]

Oh Lovely! LOL

 

[GrandLeo]

Keeping with the pub scene :-

An Australian, a Kiwi and South African are in a bar one night having a
beer.

All of a sudden the South African drinks his beer, throws his glass in
the air, pulls out a gun and shoots the glass to pieces.
"In Seth Efrika our glasses are so cheap that we don't need to drink
from the same one twice," he says.
The Kiwi, obviously impressed by this, drinks his beer, throws his glass
into the air, pulls out his gun and shoots the glass to pieces.
"Wull mate, in Niw Zulland we have so much sand to make the glasses that
we don't need to drink out the same glass either," he says
The Australian, cool as a Koala, picks up his beer and drinks it, throws
his glass in the air, pulls out his gun and shoots the South African and
Kiwi.
He turns to the astonished barman and says,"In Austraalia we have so
many bloody South Africans and Kiwis that we don't need to drink with
the same ones twice."