Playa
WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS
1. Rod Marsh & Ian Botham: When Botham took guard in
an Ashes match, Marsh welcomed him to the wicket with the immortal
words: "So how's your wife & my kids?"
2. Daryll Cullinan & Shane Warne: As Cullinan was on
his way to the wicket, Warne told him he had Been waiting 2 years for
another chance to humiliate him. "Looks like you spent it eating,"
Cullinan retorted.
3. Glenn McGrath (bowling to portly Zimbabwean
chicken farmer Eddo Brandes): "Hey Eddo, why are you so F**ing Fat?"
Eddo
Brandes: "Because everytime I F*** your mother, she throws me a biscuit"
4. Robin Smith & Merv Hughes: During 1989 Lords Test
Hughes said to Smith after he played &
missed:"You can't f**king bat". Smith to Hughes
after he smacked him to the boundary: "Hey Merv, we make a fine pair. I
can't f**king bat & you can't f**king bowl."
5. Merv Hughes & Javed Miandad: During 1991 Adelaide
Test, Javed called Merv a fat bus conductor. A few balls later Merv
dismissed Javed: "Tickets please", Merv called out as he ran past the
departing batsman.
6. Merv Hughes & Viv Richards
uring a test match in
the West Indies, Hughes didn't say a word to Viv, but continued to stare
at him after deliveries. "This is my island, my culture. Don't you be
staring at me. In my culture we just bowl." Merv didn't reply, but after
he dismissed him he announced to the batsman: "In my culture we just say
f**k off."
7. And of course you can't forget Ian Healy's
legendary comment which was picked up by the Channel 9 microphones when
Arjuna Ranatunga called for a runner on a particularly hot night during
a one dayer in Sydney... "You don't get a runner for being an
overweight, unfit, fat c**t!!!"
8. James Ormond had just come out to bat on an ashes
tour and was greeted by
Mark Waugh....... MW : "F*ck me, look who it is.
Mate, what are you doing out here, there's no way you're good enough to
play for England" JO : "Maybe not, but at least i'm the best player in
my family"
9. McGrath to Ramnaresh Sarwan: "So what does Brian
Lara's d*ck taste like?" Sarwan: "I don't know. Ask your wife." McGrath
(losing it): "If you ever F*&king mention my wife again, I'll F*ing rip
your F*fing throat out."
10. Mark Waugh standing at second slip, the new
player (Adam Parore) comes to the crease playing & missing the first
ball. Mark - "Ohh, I remember you from a couple years ago in Australia.
You were sh*t then, you're fu*king useless now". Parore- (Turning
around) "Yeah, that's me & when I was there you were going out with that
old, ugly sl*t & now I hear you've married her. You dumb c*nt".
11. Yet another Australian witticism with this time
porky Sri Lankan batsman Arjuna Ranatunga the victim. Shane Warne,
trying to tempt the batsman out of his crease mused what it took to get
the plump character to get out of his crease and drive. Wicketkeeper Ian
Healy piped up, "Put a Mars Bar on a good length. That should do it."
12. Ravi shastri v/s the aussie 12th man (don't remember who, and don't
want to slander anyone ) shastri hits it to this guy and looks for a
single...this guy gets the ball in and says "if you leave the crease
i'll break your f***ing head" Shastri: "if you could bat as well as you
can talk you wouldn't be the f***ing 12th man"
13. Malcolm Marshall was bowling to David Boon who
had played and missed a couple of times.
Marshall : "Now David, Are you going to get out now
or am I going to have to bowl around the wicket and kill you?"
14. Fred Trueman bowling. The batsman edges and the
ball goes to first slip,and right between Raman Subba Row's legs. Fred
doesn't say a word. At the end of the over, Row ambles past Trueman and
apologises sheepishly. "I should've kept my legs together, Fred". "So
should your mother" he replied.
15. Merv Hughes (again) to Viv Richards (again)
Viv missed a few shots, Merv told him, its round, red and about so big (giving the size of the ball) the next ball, Merv went for 6 -
Viv retorted "You know what it looks like, you go and find it"
Enjoy
Peace
Chris
an Ashes match, Marsh welcomed him to the wicket with the immortal
words: "So how's your wife & my kids?"
2. Daryll Cullinan & Shane Warne: As Cullinan was on
his way to the wicket, Warne told him he had Been waiting 2 years for
another chance to humiliate him. "Looks like you spent it eating,"
Cullinan retorted.
3. Glenn McGrath (bowling to portly Zimbabwean
chicken farmer Eddo Brandes): "Hey Eddo, why are you so F**ing Fat?"
Eddo
Brandes: "Because everytime I F*** your mother, she throws me a biscuit"
4. Robin Smith & Merv Hughes: During 1989 Lords Test
Hughes said to Smith after he played &
missed:"You can't f**king bat". Smith to Hughes
after he smacked him to the boundary: "Hey Merv, we make a fine pair. I
can't f**king bat & you can't f**king bowl."
5. Merv Hughes & Javed Miandad: During 1991 Adelaide
Test, Javed called Merv a fat bus conductor. A few balls later Merv
dismissed Javed: "Tickets please", Merv called out as he ran past the
departing batsman.
6. Merv Hughes & Viv Richards
uring a test match in the West Indies, Hughes didn't say a word to Viv, but continued to stare
at him after deliveries. "This is my island, my culture. Don't you be
staring at me. In my culture we just bowl." Merv didn't reply, but after
he dismissed him he announced to the batsman: "In my culture we just say
f**k off."
7. And of course you can't forget Ian Healy's
legendary comment which was picked up by the Channel 9 microphones when
Arjuna Ranatunga called for a runner on a particularly hot night during
a one dayer in Sydney... "You don't get a runner for being an
overweight, unfit, fat c**t!!!"
8. James Ormond had just come out to bat on an ashes
tour and was greeted by
Mark Waugh....... MW : "F*ck me, look who it is.
Mate, what are you doing out here, there's no way you're good enough to
play for England" JO : "Maybe not, but at least i'm the best player in
my family"
9. McGrath to Ramnaresh Sarwan: "So what does Brian
Lara's d*ck taste like?" Sarwan: "I don't know. Ask your wife." McGrath
(losing it): "If you ever F*&king mention my wife again, I'll F*ing rip
your F*fing throat out."
10. Mark Waugh standing at second slip, the new
player (Adam Parore) comes to the crease playing & missing the first
ball. Mark - "Ohh, I remember you from a couple years ago in Australia.
You were sh*t then, you're fu*king useless now". Parore- (Turning
around) "Yeah, that's me & when I was there you were going out with that
old, ugly sl*t & now I hear you've married her. You dumb c*nt".
11. Yet another Australian witticism with this time
porky Sri Lankan batsman Arjuna Ranatunga the victim. Shane Warne,
trying to tempt the batsman out of his crease mused what it took to get
the plump character to get out of his crease and drive. Wicketkeeper Ian
Healy piped up, "Put a Mars Bar on a good length. That should do it."
12. Ravi shastri v/s the aussie 12th man (don't remember who, and don't
want to slander anyone ) shastri hits it to this guy and looks for a
single...this guy gets the ball in and says "if you leave the crease
i'll break your f***ing head" Shastri: "if you could bat as well as you
can talk you wouldn't be the f***ing 12th man"
13. Malcolm Marshall was bowling to David Boon who
had played and missed a couple of times.
Marshall : "Now David, Are you going to get out now
or am I going to have to bowl around the wicket and kill you?"
14. Fred Trueman bowling. The batsman edges and the
ball goes to first slip,and right between Raman Subba Row's legs. Fred
doesn't say a word. At the end of the over, Row ambles past Trueman and
apologises sheepishly. "I should've kept my legs together, Fred". "So
should your mother" he replied.
15. Merv Hughes (again) to Viv Richards (again)
Viv missed a few shots, Merv told him, its round, red and about so big (giving the size of the ball) the next ball, Merv went for 6 -
Viv retorted "You know what it looks like, you go and find it"
Enjoy
Peace
Chris
