Australia complete an Ashes Whitewash 5-0

[Easy Tiger]

Yes Australia have managed to do what no other Australian side has been able to do in 86 years - beat England 5-0 in an Ashes series.

Justin Langer, Glenn McGrath and Shane Warne all finished Test cricket with the result they deserved for their hard work and dedication over their careers.

I have to say - Warne put out the best sledge I have ever heard yesterday when Paul Collingwood was batting - "So you were awarded an MBE for scoring 7 at The Oval in 2005 - that's pretty impressive". Warnie.. that's gold.

Man of the Match was Stuart Clark.
Man of the Series was Ricky Ponting.

 

[tonx]

Ye who drink ale that is warm, shall lose the ability to bat, bowl, field and run between wickets

 

[bm2]

perhaps our boys now deserve OBE's.........

O'im
Better'n an
English Cricketer!!!!!!!!

 

[weggy]

Warnie is the king of spin and sledge! He will be missed by all.

But for the topic at hand, we all knew it was gonna happen after the third test, no real surprises here. See that Duncan Fletcher might lose his job? Bit harsh seeing that we are the BEST TEAM IN THE WORLD.

To the British people who may be reading this thread: We do feel sorry for you... in a silent, covert sort of way

Btw, maybe tonx should become a philosopher. Very insightful stuff there .

 

[tonx]

Btw, maybe tonx should become a philosopher. Very insightful stuff there .

I'm already working on the next one, for when the first ball of the next series goes to 4th slip instead of only 2nd. The only thing that could go wrong with this theory would be if it hits short leg on the back of the head....

 

[weggy]

The only thing that could go wrong with this theory would be if it hits short leg on the back of the head....

Yeah true. Anything's possible with Harmison

 

[jhk67]

Here are the best of the best

8 Famous Cricket Sledges

1. Rod Marsh & Ian Botham: When Botham took guard in an Ashes match,
Marsh welcomed him to the wicket with the immortal words: "So how's your
wife & my kids?"

2. Robin Smith & Merv Hughes: During a 1989 Lords Test Hughes said to
Smith after he played & missed: "You can't *****ing bat". Smith replied
to Hughes after he smacked him to the boundary: "Hey Merv, we make a
fine pair. I can't *****ing bat & you can't *****ing bowl."

3. Merv Hughes & Javed Miandad: During the 1991 Adelaide Test, Javed
called Merv a fat bus conductor. A few balls latter Merv dismissed
Javed. "Tickets please", Merv called out as he ran past the departing
batsman.

4. Merv Hughes & Viv Richards: During a test match in the West Indies,
Hughes didn't say a word to Viv, but continued to stare at him after
deliveries. Eventually Viv said, "This is my island, my culture. Don't
you be staring at me. In my culture we just bowl." Merv didn't reply,
but after he dismissed him he announced to the batsman: "In my culture
we just say ***** off."

5. Ian Healy & Arjuna Ranatunga: Healy's legendary comment which was
picked up by the Channel Nine microphones when Ranatunga called for a
runner on a particularly hot night during a one dayer in Sydney... "You
don't get a runner for being an overweight, unfit, fat c*nt!!!"

6. Shane Warne & Daryll Cullinan: As Cullinan was on his way to the
wicket, Warne told him he had been waiting two years for another chance
to humiliate him. "Looks like you spent it eating," Cullinan retorted.

7. Glenn McGrath & Eddo Brandes: After Brandes played & missed at a
McGrath delivery, the Aussie bowler politely enquired: "Oi, Brandes, why
are you so fat?" Brandes retorted, "Cos every time I ***** your wife she
gives me a biscuit".

8. Ricky Ponting & Shaun Pollock: After going past the outside edge with
a couple of deliveries, Pollock told Ponting: "It's red, round & weighs
about 5 ounces." Unfortunately for Pollock, the next ball was hammered
out of the ground. Ponting yelled to Pollock: "you know what it looks
like, now go find it."

 

[weggy]

Brilliant.

Let's not forget this classic.

McGrath goes up to a West Indian player (I think it was Sarwan) and says to him:

"What does Lara's **** taste like?"

Sarwan says "ask your wife".

 

[tonx]

Georges GAY dancer dad...

George was at school this morning in the outback and the teacher asked all the children what their fathers did for a living. All the typical answers Came fireman, policeman, salesman, chippy, captain of industry etc, but George was being uncharacteristically quiet and so the teacher asked him about his father.

My father is an exotic dancer in a gay club and takes off all his clothes in front of other men. Sometimes if the offer is really good, he'll go out with a man, rent a cheap hotel room and let them sleep with him."

The teacher quickly set the other children some work and took little George aside to ask him if that was really true.

"No" said George, "He plays cricket for England but I was just too embarrassed to say."

 

[jhk67]

brilliant one that tonx, a marvellous effort that.

 

[Luke D]

I think my favourite sledge would be a nice simple one.

A young upstart (can't remember for which country) was getting into an Aussie batter (again can't remember who). The Aussie waited a while to hear the upstart digging in the sledges. After he was done the Aussie replies "And who the f*** are you?!?!?!?!"

Oh another one was, I think, James Anderson (not too sure) to Mark Waugh. The Englishman comes thru the gate onto the field, goes to shut the door, Waugh says "Don't worry bout that, you won't be out there for that long"
To which the batter replied "Hey, at least I'm the best player in MY family!!"